Breaking up with Jimmy Dean - Polar Bear Tri Race Report

I'm back!!!!!!!!  Race reports are fun to write and gives me a chance to reflect on my performance.  And since school is winding down - perhaps I will be more consistent.  

Yesterday was the season opener of the tri season in Maine and I was there – PolarBear Tri at Bowdoin college.  I have this mixed bag of emotions now that I am a day removed from the race.  It was definitely – the good, bad and the ugly!

Picked BFF, Jen, up LATE because of an early morning snafu – a whole other story in and of itself – and we arrived with about 15 minutes before transition closed.  This is a strange race that starts with a pool swim so there are multiple waves that go off all morning.  Jen’s wave was at 10:05 and mine was at 10:30 so it was major HURRY UP and then WAIT for like two and a half hours.  I personally like getting to a race venue SUPER EARLY – but wasn’t going to happen this year.

Goal for the day – improve upon last year’s time.  Secret goal of the day – come close to placing in AG. More on that later.

One of the best things of the day: My coach competes in this race!  So that means I get some personal encouragement and pre and post race chat.  J  I am really close to his mom and dad (work with his dad at the high school) so they cheer for me too!  My coach competes at the professional level and travels to many of his races, so it’s rare that I am at ANY of his races and he at mine.

Jen and I wandered around the race for an hour or so, watched a few waves go by and seriously watched the fastest wave of swimmers.  And then booked it outside to watch their transitions – super smooth.  

Nothing extra in the transition area – everything is at a minimum.  They don’t wear socks with their bike shoes and racing shoes.  Talked it over with coach prior to the race – not worth the risk of blisters today – keep the socks on for the bike and run.  We will maybe try it during a brick – but I seriously DO NOT want stinky bike and race shoes.  Weird – I know.  But both are brand-spanking new and I have a few too many stinky shoe relationships.  I have shoe crushes right now and hoping this feeling lasts for a little while longer.

Went for a warm-up run for 20 minutes and did 10 accelerations, went in to check on my wave and discovered it was up next!  Oh crap.  Time to go.  Coach gave me some last minute tips for transition, the bike and the run and I was off.  Grab goggles and cap, shed all extra clothing and hit the deck.

I was nervous sitting on the deck waiting for my wave and warned my lap counter that to leave the “last lap” signal in the water waaaaaaaaayy longer than normal.  Had a little incident last year where I didn’t see it and did an extra lap! Slightly embarrassing!

Pushed off and tried to get into a rhythm.  The Bowdoin pool is beautiful but I always find it disconcerting to do flip turns when the markings on the bottom of the pool are on an angle.  My lane was on the area of the pool where it was angled from shallow to deep.  Tried to keep my core rotating to breathe and not lift my head too much.  My goal was to swim smooth and steady.  I wasn’t ready to go ALL OUT, seeing as this was the first race of the season.  I know I could go faster, but, I was scared to blow up later on. 

Of course, even though I strived to stay on-task with counting laps……I lost count. And it felt like forever until I saw the last lap sign waved across the end of the pool.  Gave my counter the thumbs up for making sure I saw it and pushed for one more length.  Glanced at the clock to see what time I ended up with: 9:36.  Not bad.  And now, I’m off to transition.

I really wanted some free speed from transitions.  Ran to my bike.  Helmet on; glasses on; socks; bike shoes Velcro tightened, grabbed my bike and off I went.  I knew I had a smooth transition and there were still guys at the rack that had gotten there before me.

The first part of the bike felt a little slow.  I was trying to keep my cadence up and get my legs working.  Passed a guy who just looked weird.  He wasn’t wearing a helmet.  Yelled to him thinking that he just forgot to put it on.  Turns out it wasn’t there when he got to transition.  That just sucks.  He probably knew he would be DQ’ed but raced anyway.  I don’t think I would have left without my helmet.  That is taking a chance that wouldn’t be worth it.

The bike course “seems” flat, but it is really a whole bunch of little inclines that forces you to work harder than you want to.  I really wanted to keep an average speed of 19+ mph but was having a really hard time doing so.  It might also be that I haven’t spent enough time riding outside this spring.  It’s just not the same riding the stat bike or the trainer.  You can’t simulate hills. 

Only one girl legitimately passed me on the bike.  Two other girls did later in the bike – but I’m not going to count those two because they were CHEATING!!!!  They were drafting in a tight little pack with three other guys.   They kept switching off the pull and just conserving energy.  I hoped they were the ones with drafting penalties at the end.  Who knows?

About three quarters of the way through the bike, I remembered I forgot to have a GU pre-race.  Yikes.  Oh well, I’m okay so far.  Legs did feel sluggish, but I attribute that to early season bike fitness.

Ride into transition two – almost hit an elderly gentleman who crosses the opening where right before you dismount.  Of course I yell, and then he freezes right in the middle of the driveway.  He doesn’t know where to go, so neither do I.  “PICK LEFT OR RIGHT!  PICK BEFORE I RUN YOU DOWN!!!!”  He was like a gray squirrel who darts into the road in front of an oncoming car.  “Which way do I go? This way or that way?” Finally he chooses to retreat to the right and I swerve left.   Old guy crash averted!

Transition two felt super quick too.  Helmet off; bike shoes Velcro ripped; new Zoot racing shoes – slip in and tug the laces; race belt on; and grab the Garmin.  I had already zeroed out the Garmin and just pressed start as I crossed the T2 mat. 

First ½ mile was 8:25ish and just tried to get my cement legs moving as fast as I could.  I know it takes me almost a mile before my legs feel okay, so I just keep moving and glancing at my Garmin to stay on pace. 

I reached the first aid station and noticed my GPS has only clocked .87 of a mile.  The aid station clearly says “Mile 1”.  What a crock!  But then I was hopeful that the course was a little short – no such luck! 

Mile two was sortof, how do I say this, UGLY!   Legs slowed down quite a bit, but we are now on a trail run for the duration of the race and I don’t mind that as much.  A few fast chicks pass me and I wish I could make my legs go with them.  Strange how your mind won’t let you push past the fatigue.  I hit the mile 2 aid station and see that the Garmin registers 2.2 miles.  So Tri Maine is off with ALL of its course markings.  HACK!  And they ran out of Subway when I finished my race.  All they had left were these pathetic pieces of bread and peanut butter.....I just finished a triathlon and they want me to make my own pb & j.  Are you kidding me?  It's not like we pay $75 bucks or anything!!!!!  But back to the run!

The good thing about this is that I only have .8 miles to go and it’s a small loop back around the trail.  I am actually able to pick up my pace a little bit and pass a few people on my way to the finish.  Again, I glance at my Garmin and now it reads 2.87.  Not bad – only a little further.  A little further, 3.0.  A little further 3.1.  WHAT?????  Finally, I emerge from the trail and see a photographer friend from Capstone Photography who recognizes me and gives me a little boost.  Only a sprint to the finish and I want to look strong coming in and not like I am about to puke. I’ve done that before – right at the finish.  But not this time.

So many fellow KBTC teammates at the finish cheering me on.  Love that!  I just LOVE my teammates.

So many KBTC friends got podium finishes – Keith, Todd, Joe, Jen R. – Wow!!!! BFF Jen – JUST missed third place.  So close….her time would have put her 2^nd last year – me too for that matter. 

So the here’s the breakdown:

Good:

• ·      3 minute 27 second improvement over last year
• ·      did not do extra laps
• ·      Transition 1 – 50 seconds!
• ·      Transition 2 – 53 seconds!

Bad:

• ·      bike split – awful – down 2.5mph average from last August races
• ·      mile 2 of the run.

Ugly:

• ·      me in my tri kit. 

Someone should have told me I looked like a stuffed sausage! Ughhhh!  Just the motivation I needed to get SUPER SERIOUS about nutrition.  I know there is a fast runner chick inside crying to get out!

Okay.  Let’s do the math.  I can lose thirty pounds.  Seriously people.  I am carrying a small child around with me when I run.  I. am. not. joking.  In fact, if I was to be completely lean and runner-like I probably could stand to lose 40 lbs.  I wish I was exaggerating – but, sadly, I am not.  In fact, I have already lost about 10 lbs. since the beginning of March.  I wish I didn’t LOVE food quite so much.  It’s soooooo good and soooooooo bad!

So, I run an 8:00 min. mile at race pace.  For every pound you lose – you also lose 3 seconds per mile.  So that’s 75 seconds off my mile time.  That means I would be running  a 6:55 mile without any additional run training.  That would put me at a 21-ish 5k. 

WHAT THE HELL AM I WAITING FOR??????????

It’s right there in front of me!!!!  Just get serious about my nutrition and I’ll be looking at the top of my Age Group! 

Okay all of you former chubby runners out there – help me out.  I’ve read your blogs – I know the journeys you all took.  It’s time for mine.  For real this time.  I am going to need some MAJOR support.  It’s almost like I need a sponsor for this.  Maybe even a twelve step program.  Someone to call when I feel myself wanting to fall off the wagon.  I live within a ¼ mile of a Dairy Queen, BK, McDonalds, Wendy’s, Chinese restaurant, Starbucks and a Dunkin Donuts.  I am probably going to need multiple sponsors on speed-dial!!!

I am going to print the picture of me at the Polar Bear for motivation.  I will print a dozen copies and tape it to the inside of the refrigerator, inside my lunch bag, on the dashboard of my car.  Anywhere I may feel my willpower slipping.

Goodbye to the stuffed sausage in the tri suit.   Jimmy Dean and I are O-V-E-R!!!

Believe - 2011 Tri Season

Dear Coach,

It's been a long off-season (probably too long.)  And now I am ready to swim/bike/run into the 2011 season.  I got some new toys for this season -- a Garmin, leg compression sleeves, arm warmers, a new training partner, new Aquasphere goggles (that actually fit my face) and a new dedication and focus for the season.

As you know, this is my last season in the 35 - 39 year age group category.  I need this year to be THE year to take triathlon to a new level.  That darn 40 - 44 year old category is so DARN fast!!!  I want to be ready for it and need to gain some speed in the 2011 season.

So here is my race plan for 2011

YMCA Indoor Tri - Mar. 7th (just to feel some speed again even though I will still be in the base period)
Eastern States 1/2 marathon - Mar 27th (the end of my base training)
Polarbear Tri - May ?
Mooseman Olympic distance Tri - June 4th
Black Fly International distance Tri - July 9th
Gloucester Fisherman Sprint Tri - August 7th
Age Group National Championship - August 20th
Pumpkinman Sprint Tri - Sept. 10th

My "A" races are definitely the Mooseman, AG National Championships and the Pumpkinman Sprint.

I have been getting back into swim/bike/run gradually but more consistently these past two weeks.  I am following Joel Friel's "Your Best Triathlon" base training so I'll be ready for a butt kicking once I get to you in March.

Coach -- I am being serious -- I am ready for whatever you have to dish out....track workouts, bike intervals until I puke, constant salt water hair......I'm ready.

BTW - I won't be ready for the nutrition portion until after January 1st, 2011.  These are my last few days of indulgent eating.  I know, I know, I know...it just makes me have to work that much harder on 1/1/2011.  But the biggest sacrifice and commitment I am making is to the nutrition piece.

I AM GOING TO BE A LEAN MEAN RUNNING MACHINE by June!!!!!!!!

Doing the calculations -- I can shave 4 minutes just by dropping the weight I need to.  You did say we were going to drop my 5k time down 3 - 5 minutes this season.  This SCARES and EXCITES the heck out of me.  This would put me @ 19:30 - 21:30.  HOLY COW!

I need to get in the right mindset for this.  And the theme for this year (thanks to you and my tri BFF Jen) is BELIEVE.

There are obstacles in my way from now until August -- no doubt.  But if you lay out the plan - I will push, run, bike, swim, crawl, lift, puke, cry and scream my way to the end.  Sometimes for me it is the mental part of triathlon that gets me in the end.  If you provide me the physical tools -- I will work on the mental one:

I will believe.

See you in March coach.

If you really knew me.....

Today I gave over a hundred hugs.  Today my principal sat on my lap.  Today I danced on a chair.  Today I put my arm around a kid who mourned the loss of a childhood he never had.  Today was Challenge Day at Biddeford High School.

Challenge Day is a 6.5 hour experiential experience for high school students to help them understand that it is okay for them to be real and show who they really are. 

I’ve done it a few times.  The first time blew me away. I had no idea what to expect.  I had never heard of Challenge Day and knew nothing about it.  The second time, it was good – just not as good as the first time.  I took last year off and wanted to let other teachers have a chance.  And this year, they had trouble finding adult facilitators so I said if they needed me – I would do one of the days.

I expected that the third time would barely register a blip on my emotional temperature. I know the drill -- we play games, listen to the leaders' stories, get in our families and share our stories, walk the line, write our cards and go home feeling good about ourselves and everyone in the room.  I know, I know, I sound kind of jaded.  Yes, all those things happened.  But I decided to make it different today -- for me.

There is a section during the day where they talk about "dropping your water line."  They use an iceberg analogy to explain this.  Icebergs are huge -- but only a little bit shows above the surface.  If you could look below the water -- there is so much more hidden under there.  People are like icebergs.  They only show about 10% of who they are -- mostly their "image."  The other 90% exists below the water line.  This is the real stuff.  This is who you really are.  This is where you hold your emotions like fear, jealousy, loneliness, anger, and your hopes and dreams.  They encourage students to "drop their water line" and show the stuff they hide away.  They encourage the kids to get "real."

Usually when we get to this part of the program, I think through what I am willing to share with students and pre-program it in my brain and then do my sharing.  Today was different.

All the adults have a small "family" group of four or five students. We get together and each student has two minutes to share "If you really knew me you would know...." I had a student who not only the had the courage to share first, but shared the most heartbreaking and heart-lifting story.  For confidentiality purposes - what is said in Challenge Day...stays in Challenge Day.  But let's just say - this kid has NEVER known what it was like to be a child....ever.

In that moment, I forgot what I had pre-selected to share with the students and when my turn came -- I said whatever came into my head and my heart.

It's funny.  The whole program is designed to help students get real with who they are, but today it was me.

If you ever have a chance to be an adult facilitator for a Challenge Day -- do it once.  If you would like to do it in Biddeford -- I can get you in.

Today I played hug tag.  Today I danced an Irish jig with 125 other people. Today I saw a thousand tears fall for all the kids who have been teased or bullied, lost a parent, suffered physical or emotional abuse, or just felt completely alone in a building filled with a thousand other people.

Today I was challenged to "be the change I want to see in the world." (Ghandi)

So, I begin here.

If you really knew me......

You would know that I am most proud of being the first in my family to earn a college degree and now a master's degree.

You would know that the hardest thing I have ever done is let go of a guy I loved who was hurting me.  That sounds like it would be easy to do -- but it truly wasn't.

You would know that one piece of good news from my life this week is that my in-laws want to come and watch me compete at the AG national championships next summer.  It kind of touches my heart that they would want to travel to watch and support me.

You would know that my husband and son are the most important people in the world to me.  Although sometimes I get caught up in my job, activities and interests -- I couldn't derive any enjoyment from those things if it weren't for those two in my life.

You would know that my relationship with my family is complicated.  While I resented my father's stern and gruff manner growing up, I now treasure the moments I have with him.  He instilled in me a strong work ethic and a sense of if I am going to do something -- I am going to do it the right way the first time and to the best of my ability.  He has begun to teach me woodworking and taught me how to build new doors and faceplates for my bathroom cabinets.  He has a heart condition and I worry that I might lose him.  My relationship with my mother is not the same as it once was -- for many reasons.  I need to continue to work at that.  I guess I am at that age where I have begun to truly fear the day I lose my parents.

You would know that my favorite part about teaching is pushing to kids to think.  It's easy to just require students to do work or complete assignments.  It's much more difficult to help kids LEARN and thinking leads to learning.

You would know that my biggest dreams are to write a book, get my doctorate, qualify for Boston and Kona and make Team USA in triathlon.  I might have to wait until I hit the 60 - 70 year old age group to do it :)  But damn it -- I want to wear a uniform that says USA and represent my country at the world championships.  I've often toyed with convincing Cabela's to sponsor me in skeet shooting for the next Olympic Games.  It's one of the only sports I can start now and have a shot at making an actual Olympic team.

You would know I speak my mind.  I hate to hurt people -- sometimes to a fault. I dislike conflict and avoid it for as long as possible -- which I know conflicts with the "I speak my mind."  I am ultra-competitive.  I am a hard worker.  I am a procrastinator. I am afraid of pain.  I love and hate the mental challenge of triathlons.

If you really, really knew me you would know that I'm not as confident or assertive as I appear to be.  I think it is challenging to make real friends.  I have a lot of acquaintances but I tend to personalize EVERYTHING and that leads to insecurities.  I do have a small core of women that I trust and know that I can be "me" around and know that they will support me -- warts and all.

If you really knew me you would know that I am full of contradictions -- good and bad.  And this drives my wonderful husband crazy!

If you really knew me you would know that starting and writing this blog is one of scariest and most vulnerable things I have ever done. I constantly think....why would anyone care what I have to say?

After today, I challenge myself to think....why wouldn't someone care what I have to say?

If I really knew you.....what would I know?

"......dream with open eyes...."

I would like to introduce you all to my my new "boyfriend. "

His name is Andrew Ferrence.  Yeah, I know I'm married.  So is he.  Doesn't matter.  I will forever CRUSH on this guy not only because he is slightly attractive -- *wink, wink* -- but because this is who he really is:

And after the Boston Bruins warmup at last night's game -- he stopped on his way to the locker room and took time to acknowledge a five-year-old little boy and hand him a puck that ALL the Bruins had passed and slapshotted during warmups.  Here is what he did to that five-year-old little boy:

In fact -- I am really impressed with so many of the Bruins players.  Recci stopped and gave Elijah a smile, Shaun Thornton glass checked him, and Tim Thomas stopped right in front of him and gave him a look.

Obviously, they remember being little boys and idolizing NHL players.  It only took a few seconds, but they gave him a memory that will hopefully last him all the way to the NHL himself.  He told me that night that he was going to be a "Bruin" someday.  By God, I believe him.  I'm hoping Andrew Ferrence is still playing then. :)

The Bruins game was AWESOME!  It was Milt Schmidt night and they retired his number to the rafters.  Four Bruin legends were on hand to honor him - Cam Neely, Bobby Orr, Ray Bourque and Terry O'Neill.  But it was what the 93 year-old himself said that stuck with me.  He said that "the spoked-B [was] practically my family crest."  And that got me to thinking about how this man just totally gave himself to hockey.  It wasn't just a job to him -- it was his dream and his passion.

He didn't just play for the Bruins.  He was, "an integral part of the 1939 and '41 Cup-winners and as a GM, Schmidt added two more titles to his resume in 1970 and '72" (John Bishop, Bruins.com).  He was a Bruin all the way and now #15 will watch Bruins hockey from high in the rafters forever.

And that got me thinking about about passion and just giving yourself over to something completely and all the way.  I see that in my five-year-old Eli.  He has just given himself over to the game of hockey.  And I'm not talking just likes it -- he IS hockey.  He watches every Bruins game televised, he wakes up in the morning and the first thing he asks (even before Good morning Mommy) if the Bruins won and what was the score, he is hardly seen without his stick and a ball in the house and happily gets up every Saturday and Sunday morning and plays himself.

We sat way up in the balcony of of section 312; row 8.  No one on the ice could see or hear him but it didn't matter one bit to Eli.  You know those CRAZY fans you see at football games who just go ALL THE WAY to cheer on their teams?  That's Eli.  He screamed, taunted, danced, chanted, clapped and roared the entire night and up onto the JUMBOTRON!  He entertained the entire section with his antics.  And let me assure you -- we were ALREADY in the rowdy section!

I just kept looking at him with pride.  He was totally giving himself over to his passion.  He didn't care what people thought of him or how he looked or the fact that no Bruin would know what he did or didn't do.

I love that.  I admire that.  I am going to vow to try and live my life that way from now on -- give myself over to my passions in that pure, uninhibited fashion.

So, triathlon, next year -- it's all about you.  It wasn't an immediate thing with you -- more like a slow burn stoked race by race by race.  But this upcoming season - I am going to give myself ALL THE WAY to you and see what happens.  I am ready to commit - physically, nutritionally and mentally.

I'm yours.  The same way hockey is for Andrew Ferrance, Milt Schmidt and Eli.

This was my beginning....

King Pine Tri - May 2009 (40 lbs. ago)

This was last season....

3rd place 35-39 AG Kennebunk Firemen Tri - August 2010 (40 lbs. lighter)

3rd place 35-39 AG Pumpkinman Sprint - Sept. 2010

Here's to my future:

"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." -T.S. Eliot

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